Please note: Although I am 8 months pregnant, my stomach is about the size of a person who is about 4 or 5 months pregnant, if that. My discomfort could not, in my opinion, be attributed to my growing belly...Now, back to the story.. Once I finally got in a comfortable position, I had the usual bathroom run and settled in for bed, only to be woken up at 5:45 in the morning to have blood drawn! (Who does that???) Once the nurse entered my room and informed me of her plans, I grudgingly obliged and prepared to have my blood drawn. I tried not to let myself come to a place of alertness; however, once all of the lights in the room were on and the nurse had to wait on another tube to be brought in because the one she was using would not take my blood, I could not help but be fully alert! After she left, naturally, it was hard for me to go back to sleep for a while. I stayed up long enough to watch the morning news twice--once at 6 o'clock and again and 7--and finally dozed off to sleep. That sleep was short-lived; however, as the day nurse came in around 9:30 to introduce herself and do my morning temperature and blood pressure check. From here on out, I was up for the day.
A few hours later, the aide came in to take me to see the specialist and I returned within the hour with a good report :). Sophia is in head down position ready for delivery and still cooking. He stated that the observations from today's ultrasound were 'reassuring' and I was more than happy to hear that :). Upon returning from my appointment, I ate lunch and surfed the internet for a bit, reading and catching up on the latest news and such. It was not until around 3:30 or 4 pm that I was able to catch a few more hours of uninterrupted shut eye. By a few hours, I literally mean a few (2), but it was better than nothing. (Actually, now that I think about it, it was interrupted, by my doctor, but I quickly shooed him away so that I could continue with my slumber.) In any event, I woke up again at 6 p.m. to have my temperature and blood pressure checked again and stayed up to eat dinner, watch tv, and ruminate on my current situation and its purpose.
As the hours passed, I regretted not getting up and moving about, but could not find the strength, nor the desire to do so. I called Clif to see what he was up to and waited on him to stop by after work. I figured that seeing his face was sure to be a happy ending to an otherwise somber day--I was wrong, well, somewhat. Interestingly enough, I was relieved when I saw him and felt as though I could release all of the day's weight; however, it was not the happy, joyful encounter I had envisioned. When I saw him, I immediately sat up and gave him a hug, not wanting to ever let go, and then I followed him over to the couch so that we could sit closely. He told me about his day and caught me up on the day's events and noticed that I did not seem like myself. Normally, I am gregarious Germaine, but tonight I seemed mored like somber Sally. He knew that something was wrong. My big teddy bear, as I often call him, always knows what to say and how to encourage me, yet, this time, though encouraged and alleviated from the worries and stresses of the day, after talking to him all I could do was cry. As soon as I opened my mouth to tell him what was wrong and how I was feeling, I was a mess.. a big cry baby.. but yet, it felt good to release. As soon as he left, I balled again and finally pulled myself together. Just like he said, I have to be strong for Sophia and remind myself that the time that I am spending here is not for me, but for her. I am learning how to sacrifice and be selfless in this process. And in his words, 'So when Sophia comes out, she can't say that you never did anything for her! lol..' He's the best, always gotta try and make me laugh! :)
The entire time I have been here on bed rest (11 days), I have been strong, positive, joyful, etc., yet, today, I let those feelings elude me and sullen, sad feelings invade my spirit. Thank God that tomorrow is a new day, and even before it gets here that I have encouraged myself and been encouraged, and that I know there is purpose in this place that I am in now. Now, troubled.. or should I say, trying Tuesday, make way for Wonderful Wednesday! :)
Be blessed and encouraged :* (kiss)
GG and Sophie
Were it not for our trials, we would not know His strength.
ReplyDeleteLove you GG and Sophie. Hang in there, or shall I say, rest in there. Rest in the fact that God is in control. He knew Sophie before she was formed in your womb. His plans for her are great. You and Clif will be (and are) great protectors of the promise of God on her life. Oh what a privilege!! She is blessed to have you already :)
Love you too.. Thanks for the encouragement and wisdom. I'm resting and hanging in there. She'll be here soon :)
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